Oak Mountain Coaching

When I say People Pleaser, I’m referring to the anxious attachment style (or anxious-ambivalent) in Attachment Theory.

In psychology, attachment refers to how we relate to other people. Being a Pleaser is one of several types of styles identified in this relational theory.

In our coaching practice, we view addiction through a lens of trauma and attachment. As a recovery coach, I am very mindful of men who generally agree to these questions:

• Do you calm yourself by focusing on the needs of others and making them happy?
• Do attempts to make everyone happy often create a time management problem for you?
• Is decision-making difficult without asking for permission or reassurance?
• Do you struggle creating boundaries because others may be annoyed by them?

There is another style similar to a Pleaser that I describe as:

Having grown up in a chaotic environment, they learned to survive abuse and stress by submitting themselves to the authoritarians. Their adult life is an existence of peril and their relational role may feel like servitude. Their partners are often a source of fear and threat, so they expend substantial energy trying to keep their partners appeased. This includes accepting blame and working harder at fixing themselves to "get it right." 

If you can relate to the Pleaser questions or the description above, you will have unique challenges in this course—and for recovery in general.

I encourage these men to work with me prior to starting the course. Contact me to discuss what this means for you.

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